By Momus


How do I know this? A robot told me.

That "robot" was the world's most popular human-free news service, Google News.

Feeding the word "robot" into Google's news robot, I came up with more tales of robots. There's Brewtron, the "viral" party robot invented by a beer company. Ballbot (I kid you not) is a robot that pivots on a ball-shaped base and helps care for the elderly. Da Vinci, a robot nurse, is designed to assist with urological microsurgery. And, rounding up the week's list of new bots, BOSS is described as a "battery operated smart servant" but is actually an intelligent shopping trolley designed to replace the inventor's clumsy sister. (Her annoying tendency to hit him with the cart, apparently, warranted her replacement by a machine. It's understandable.)

Perhaps the week's biggest and scariest robot news, though -- certainly for journalists -- was the robot reporters story.

Thomson Financial has been using automatic computer programs to generate news stories for almost six months. The machines can spit out wire-ready copy based on financial reports a mere 0.3 seconds after receiving the data. Thomson management likes its reporter robots so much that it has decided to expand the fleet.

Flesh-and-blood journalists were quick to decry the move. "Those editors who can't wait to install computers at the expense of journalists should beware," warned Mark Tran in the Guardian article "Robots write the news."

"Look at what happened in Space Odyssey, when HAL took over the spaceship. Or worse still, think of Terminator 3, when the Skynet network of computers unleashes nuclear war."

Tran was joking. Well, half joking. But his joke was also a poignant plea. A robot may be able to turn a share report into three pithy paragraphs in less than a second, but it can't go and watch movies about other robots and turn that into a warning for the world.

Because it can't live, it can't think. Or so we think. Tran's conclusion isn't very reassuring. "We endangered financial journalists could prolong our lives in the short term by slapping more adjectives into our copy," he suggests, "but the writing does seem to be on the wall, as far as earnings reports go." If all that stands between a writer's job and redundancy is a few adjectives, well, that's plain scary.

"Scary" -- yes, nice adjective. It's got human emotion, empathy, experience. Good, we're still on the right side of the Turing Test; the side the robots can't get to.

Or can they? I can hear the laments already, with 20/20 hindsight. First they came for the bomb disposal crews, and we said nothing. Then they were spot-welding and spray-painting on the auto plant assembly lines, and still we said nothing. Only now that they've come for the journalism jobs do the journalists scream. But it's too late.

Mistrust and paranoia have set in. How do we know Mark Tran isn't already a robot? "Tran" -- does that even sound like a human name?

It's a losing battle. These days, it seems, there are fewer and fewer jobs a robot couldn't do. Even automatic translation, which some said only humans could do properly (because meaning requires context and context requires lived experience) is coming on by leaps and bounds, pulling jobs out from under the feet of the lower-level human translators.

Of course, robots needn't be seen only as a threat to our jobs. They can also improve our lives enormously.

As an Apple user with a visual handicap, for instance, I welcome Steve Jobs' announcement, at the Worldwide Developers Conference earlier this month, that the next Apple OS, code-named Leopard, will feature a much more human-sounding (but really much more robotic) text-to-speech interface.

Will that put any actors out of work? Not directly, but I'll probably listen to humans on the radio a bit less, a "robot" speaking texts off the internet a bit more. (I'll probably test the spookily realistic new Leopard-reading robot using the Wikipedia entry on the Uncanny Valley.)

So are there any jobs that won't ever be done by an intelligent machine? How far can this robot replacement trend go?

All the way to the top, it seems. Shinzo Abe is widely seen as the man most likely to take over the premiership of Japan when Junichiro Koizumi steps down. The splash page of Abe's website shows him operating an Apple laptop. On the wall behind, though, is a series of instructions in what looks like some ancient computer language; COBOL or FORTRAN, perhaps. Curiously, they appear to be political instructions, tasks someone has programmed Abe to run when he takes over the top job. "./configure --with-passion=/home/abe/blood," reads one line of code; "make proud_japan" instructs another.

Could we be looking at the world's first robot prime minister?






First published at www.wired.com